2004-08-11
not dentures, they just look like em..
Hello gentle readers! I am smiling at you. And do you know why I am smiling at you instead of grumbling and scowling at you? Well I will tell you. It is because yesterday I had my braces removed! That deserves an exclamation point even though I think exclamation points are overused in American writing. But that is for another entry entirely.
Now I have a vur' vur' sexy set of pearly off-whites.[hey I am a coffee drinker of 14 years I am lucky my teeth aren't brown]I also have a matching sexy lisp from my retainers. So needless to say, I don't talk too much which is a relief to Miss Linguist. For now when i scream at her, she cannot decipher just what it is I am saying. Makes her life so much easier, but it makes mine a living hell.
My retainers are sparkly and blue because damnit I have had braces for 7 years and I am not about to just give up now. I plan on wearing these motherfuckers the amount of time I am supposed to, lisp or no lisp, and I want my retainers to reflect me. Which must mean I view myself as blue, sparkly, and a pain in the ass. Yep. That about is sums it up all right.
For the first four months I have to wear them unless I am eating, brushing my teeth, or about to bite an angry foe. Wouldn't want these things breaking in the event that you have to fight with your choppers. They make you pay for the replacements out of pocket.
Then after that four months of laborious torture and monk-esque silence, I only have to wear the devices of death at night. Kinda perturbs me that one night a metal part could come snapping off if I bit down during an illicit dream, and I could swallow it. But since that has not yet happened during my years of braces[either the illicit dreams or the metal swallowing that is]I guess I am just being anal for nothing.
(Granted the only other things I ever get anal about are brushing my teeth eight times in a row and watching movies twice at least and twice in a row if I like it. We've already heard about this though, haven't we kids?)
In other news:It is only 56 degrees. I am wearing my rainbow socks which I have appropriately named Oskar and Jethro. Don't ask me which is which.
This has been your gleaming toothed, heavily lisped diarist. Sssssexy isssn't it?
Quote of the day:"My best friend has sexy teeth...and a sexy lisp!"-[Sambo]