2006-02-06
stroking out to the oldies with Ahna
I don't think that I could be more late.
Unless, of course, I had died.
Which, I could have by the way. Let me recount the wonderful shit that has been happening to me. Sit right back, keep the remote close just in case you want to change the channel to "What Not to Wear" and read on about all the wonderful health problems of Ahna.
On January 23rd I had fibroid tumours removed from my uterus. It was a one day procedure similar to an abortion and Jesus tapdancing Christ, I hope I never have to go through one of those.[i won't though because we all know how i feel about children)]
The pain was horrendous and of course, since it was a simple thing and I couldn't really afford the extra cost, I did it without painkillers. Look at me, tough to the core with a million large rods shoved into my most private area.
Beat that United States Marine Corps! And to top it all off, I had a nice little audience all gaping at it making notes on their charts because they were learning how to do this for the very first time. Yay, how I ADORE being a guinea pig. Yeah, no.
So since then I have been taking it easy, not doing anything that would potentially give me a deathly infection, avoiding EL novio in that department ahem. Taking my medication like a good girl should and everything is fine.
Except for the strokes I keep having. Back in October and November, random parts of my left side started to become paralyzed. Fully paralyzed. No sight no feeling no movement. Full on left side paralysis. Now, for someone at or above the age of seventy-five, this might be deemed normal, but to a nineteen year old co-ed six hours away from home, this is plain flat out terrifying.
So during break I went and saw yet another new neurologist, because obviously I didn't see enough of them when I was dealing with similar shit back in freshman year of high school. This doctor suggested that I take medication for migraines to see if that helped. Well, the genius gave me Magnesium Oxide, a wonderful cure for someone...if that someone happens to have FIBRO MIALGIA! Needless to say, I have not taken more than three of those pills because they seem to do what...oh yeah give me migraines.
Two Fridays ago, I was watching a demonstration in my ceramics class when all of a sudden it felt like a million tiny fire ants were marching on the base of my neck. Suddenly that tingling feeling you get when one of your limbs falls asleep started to take over my entire brain. Then, I started to get dizzy, lightheaded and nauseas all at once. Then the vision started to go. But it was slow at first, like entering a tunnel, and it faded out all pixalated. Then my hearing faded much in the same way, like when your ears pop in an airplane. Except that I lost my hearing and sight entirely and I had to lean against my wheel to keep from fully passing out.
Total, the episode must of only lasted a minute but it felt like an hour. After my senses had returned, I found that I was leaning over my wheel, mouth agape, breathing hard, and in a cold sweat.
So now, I am six hours away from healthcare I know and am covered by insurance with and having mini-strokes that my grandmother had shortly before her death. Yeah, that's a good thing for any nineteen year old to discover. Right. Good one Man Upstairs. You really thought my life out well. Cheers mate, may I purchase you a Heineken?
In other news: EL novio has signed up to go to Europe with me next spring. We are both really excited but already in debt so paying three thousand extra dollars is really not plausible. But then, who ever expects college students to think plausibly? Simply not credit companies, that's for sure. A film I made last semester is to be featured in an abstract art symposium in May for the whole UW system. I am a little nervous seeing as I have to make it more mass-viewing friendly.
I don't usually ask this, but could you possibly pray for me those who are reading this? Maybe it really does help and I am always willing to find out. Thanks for reading...see you all again real soon.
Quote of the day:"So you're six hours away and stroking out? Yeah and that's not supposedt worry me?"-[Miss Linguist]